Rollmop – On Food

Rollmop on food

Food is very important for all sorts of reasons. The main thing being that I only get one meal a day even though my people get three feeding times and at none of them am I allowed to sit by the table, dribbling. It’s not easy. I like roast beef too. And it smells so good. If I put my tongue out I can almost taste it. nd there will be gravy too. But that white stuff, horseradish I think they call it, is too hot and makes me sneeze.

Oh, I like my food, believe me, I even like those bone shaped biscuits I get, but the sugary ones that They eat are even better. There are some really special chocolate ones with some soft, gooey stuff in that sticks to my teeth and stays in my whiskers for ages.

The best times are when They have small people visiting – you know, short humans – the ones They call children. Children are always dropping eatable things. Feed them, there I am the handy hoover, I have to be quick though as the small ones often try to get what dropped back – unfair. To my mind whatever hits the floor is mine.

And that includes cuddly toys.

There was I under the table, on which was a box that had a lot of noise coming from it, trying to doze when ‘plop’, from out of nowhere came a teddy bear. This nice, new, pink ball of fluff landed on the floor right by my nose. Mine, wrong. Oh, the shouts and screams. I only picked it up. I didn’t even try to bury it. But all I could understand was that it was now dirty and had to be washed. If I had known it was dirty I wouldn’t have gone anywhere near it – would I? Well, would you? But “The Baby” would now have to go without its new toy. What a fuss. What’s a “Baby”? If it’s· the thing that’s in that box making all the noise I don’t understand why all the.
People coo and ahh at it. If I made that much noise I would be sent outside!

Anyway, They should know the rules. Anything on the floor is mine. It’s an under­ standing that all us dogs have, not just me.

Copyright 2020 Jenny Hanley

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