My heart goes out to Rod Liddle’s betrayed wife Rachel, and I can associate with her feeling that “the wife is always the last to know”. I too experienced the pain caused by my second husband’s affair. Unknowingly I too lived with a philanderer, and looking back should have spotted the clues – they were there. I believe some men are incapable of not wanting another woman, as well being seemingly happy with their partner. Philanders have one common traint – cowardice, an inability to discuss their personal emotions. It’s a weakness of character and a major difference between men and women.
Most women try to make their relationships work, if they become unhappy, or if things don’t work out, they’ll talk about it and confront issues. Philanderers don’t, they fudge the issue, run away to cheat on their partners, or just have casual sexual affairs to get temporary personal satisfaction which boosts their morale. They don’t have the guts to talk things through face to face, and get away with it, time after time until they’re caught out. Rachel is right, his mistress has done her a favour, he’s cheated before and he’ll cheat again. But, she shouldn’t give up hope – there are many decent men out there – I know.